i thank you and love you SOOO much....
(hehe..just got the goosebumps)..but yes!!
I LOVE YOU FATHER! i dton' think words can express...
i want to praise God rite now...for his WONDERFUL works He does...when we trust...MANN..trust trust trust and believe HE WILL PERFORM MIRACLES! YES! THAT'S HOW AWESOME OUR GOD IS!!!!! =D
so let's start this...wanna blog about my weekend....went to kcf retreat..after 1 week of just going crazy cuz i COULD NOT DECIDE...what to do..........it was so hard...to not be able to be there for acf ppl...but i felt GOD CALLING ME!! YES!! ..it was sunday night...when i read a passage..in luke 6: 27-36...OH JUST BEAUTIFUL.........
"If you love those who love you, what credit it is that to you?.."
i was just so struck by this verse....SO STRUCK! cuz it was SOO true...in my persona life....all throughout my life...it was so hard for me to love....especially koreans...i don't know why..but it was just SOOO hard for me...just ppl's motives...and attitudes..and actions..and words they speak to eachother...it was just so discouraging for me to see all this and face the true realities of this world....but yess...GOD CALLLED ME..and he really opened my eyes..and that verse...just spoke to me....all throughout 1st and 2nd year..it was os hard for me to adapt and get to know kcf pplz on a deeper level....the meetings seemed so superficial...and i always thought ppl were there for the wrong reasons..and it wasn't like acf where i knew that people loved the Lord with all their heart...and it was so hard for me..since i dind't have that ..that true deep pure relationship with the Lord..so it kind of hindered me....jus tlike how i was htorughout high school..being hindered because i never thought ppl loved me..which really drew me away from God.....i din't have that deep relationship where i could trust God and let God do all the wonders....but yes...it wasn't till 2ND YEAR..WHERE I WAS SO IMMENSELY BLESSED! GOSH! thank you God for openign my eyes and letting me understand...I don't hav eto be loved by others..FOR YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH MORE..human love fails..but YOUR LOVE ENDURES FOREVER AND EVER..and if you have that in your heart...goodness me....YOU ARE FILLED WITH GOD'S LOVE....and you suddenly understand..that oyu odnt' have to be loved..but that we are called to love others.....LOVE OTHERs! YES! and yesss...........i realized that and was so eager to that with frosihes at acf..but my heart....was still cold with kcf.....i just couldnt' love koreans.......i felt so different from them...felt like God was never there for me....and that i wasn't being myself...how I was in acf....just totally different..but GOD IS GOOOD..and he opened my eyes..and told me that....how can i be loved if i dnt love them..and if i'm not acting like myself..and if i keep all the joy God has been blessing wiht me..just bottled inside..when i'm around kcfers..it was soooooooo ahrd.cuz i dind't feel like i had ppl who could uspport me for all the joys and amazing thigns god was teachign me....i just couldnt'..it was so hard...BUT YES!!!! GOD IS FAITHFUL....and he taught me th eBEAUTY OF FORGIVENESS....forgive the koreans...forgive them and not judge....so i realized it was my fault...my fault why i coudltn' mend that ddeeper relatoinship..than the superfiical hi's and bye's wher eijus tfloated around....you know? so yea! at the retreat..man..i was blessed..totally changed my perspective of koreans...learned to love them....unconditionallly..no matter how different we were..no mattter how they acted...no mattter what they're inentiosn were..no matter how they treated me.....i learned to love. and oh my goodnesss...it was entirely through love..where GOD opened my heart up..and with the gift of sharings..........i was able to bless oters...and FORGIVE THEM...and tell them that i was soorrry. tell the koreans my life story and just tell them that i was sorry for my judgmental attitude..and my act of not being myself...and man.....after i shared..i just felt SOOOOOOOOOOOO FREEEE..........like the biggest burden off of me....and i was just all smiles and just filled with joy again..SOO FILLED WITH JOY MAN!! cuz i coud finally love them.....and man..GOD IS GOOD........through al lthis i think (through the mighty workings of god) was able to show ppl who were lacking fiath..that GOD IS RELALY THE GOD OF ALL POWERS AND ALL THINGS AND ALL WONDERS.....and yes! that was just so maazing to seee..nonchristians just stepping up and just giving their testimony..and asking for prayers.MANN GOD moves mountains..HE'S SO GOOD! and just that itme of prayer..to just go up to kcfers and jsut PRAY FOR THEM..AND BLESS THEM AND LOVE THEM.............................GOD YOU ARE SO GOOD!?!? I CAN'T PRAISE YOU ENOUGH!!! wowwwww...so THANK YOU GOD...FOR JUST FORGIVING ME..AND LETTING ME ABLE TO FORGIVE..AND LOVE...FOR YOUR LOVE IS SO GREAT AND WIDE AND DEEP AND AWESOME!! SOOO THAKN YOU!!!
i need to sleep now :)
mb i shall continue~
thank you kcf!
THANK YOU GOD!
oh praise His holy name.
Lois.
posted by lois @ 12:47 AM
